My Perinatal Experience
Becoming a mom really solidified my passion for working with parents. While I was initially excited about becoming a mother, I quickly became overwhelmed with all of the needs and demands that this baby had. I felt like I knew nothing, but also felt overwhelmed with all of the information and advice that didn’t feel like a fit. My baby had reflux, wouldn’t take a bottle even though she needed supplementing, and could only be soothed by me and my breast. Sleep became a nightmare and I felt trapped. I felt anxious and depressed in a way that I never had before. It was a hard and scary time.
Even though I knew about my risk for a perinatal mood disorder, talked openly with my doctor, and had a supportive group of new moms to talk to, I still struggled. Research suggests that almost 1 in 4 new parents experience a perinatal mood disorder, though this number seems to be on the rise. It’s sadly a very common experience that many struggle with alone. The good news is that with help, we can get through it. Using my supports and reaching out for individual counselling helped me. But here’s the thing: I got through that, then my daughter had a speech delay and started biting at daycare. Cue the anxiety. Then we got through that and Covid hit. Here comes anxiety and depression again. Parent mental health isn’t a one and done kind of thing. At least for me, it ebbs and flows.
I think this really just reflects how complex parenting is. We’re our own people, with our own needs, and at the same time we’re expected to care for these little people and take care of their needs too. Except that often we feel like we need to put their needs before our own. While the intentions are good, this can often be a recipe for disaster. We get burnt out. We feel like we can’t handle it anymore. Then things spiral downward. The anxiety and depression creep up, then get stronger.
I feel passionate about helping parents because I’m living it right now. I get how hard parenting can be, and I don’t want any parent to struggle alone. We don’t need to be perfect for our kids. We need to take care of ourselves and take care of our family, but one isn’t more important than the other. It’s about finding some kind of balancing act that works, and doing the best we can for our families as well as ourselves.