Externalizing to Help Our Kids Handle Big Feelings

Kids have lots of big feelings. Sometimes empathy and connection is enough to get through, and sometimes it’s not. A strategy that I have found helpful to deal with challenging feelings is externalizing. When we talk about the problem as separate from the child, we remove the blame and shame and make it more about working together to get that problem to leave us alone. We help our kids to see that feelings are okay, and we can find ways to manage them and work through the difficulties. Plus it’s fun! Some kids will enjoy drawing the characters and can get really into the metaphor.

Take a listen to find out how I handled my five year old daughter’s tantrums and how we talked about “bossypants” and “working together girl” to help us solve our problems.