Coping with Change

“The only constant in life is change” – Heraclitus

You may have heard that one before. While it is a bit cliché, that doesn’t make it any less true. Seasons change, routines change, jobs change, homes change, people come and people go. Sometimes we plan change, sometimes it’s entirely out of our control. Some changes are big, and some are small, but even the tiniest change can create a ripple effect. Regular life is already hectic enough, then we toss in a pandemic and we’ve found ourselves in a constant mess of change. From lockdown, work and school from home, and virtual meetings, to opening up, returning to the office and school, and a new routine. It’s a lot for anyone to handle, much less those of us who are change-averse. Even when we’re looking forward to something, too much change at once can be overwhelming. Here are some tips that may help you cope with change.

Plan ahead

If you know change is coming, planning for how you’re going to handle it can be helpful. Here’s an example: You’re feeling overwhelmed about how to get the kids to school and yourself to the office when you’re used to slowly dragging yourselves out of bed. If you don’t plan ahead, you might find yourself rushing in the morning, feeling stressed and overwhelmed about whether you have everything and whether everyone will make it on time. Instead, it might help to think through how to make this feel more manageable. Maybe you plan lunches the evening before, set an alarm with plenty of time to get everyone ready, and ensure you’ve thought through all of the things that need to get done in order to experience success. Some do well thinking this through in their minds while others benefit from writing it out. It can also help to involve family members in the planning if the change affects more than just you. While everyone will plan differently, thinking it through in advance often helps.

Think positive thoughts

Even when you’ve planned and prepared and think you’re ready, the stress can still sneak up on us. Often we find ourselves thinking negatively in these moments: “We’re going to be late, this is too much, why can’t I handle this?” This is the stress talking, and usually isn’t a true and accurate reflection of the situation. In these moments it can be helpful to try to shift your thinking and take a more positive perspective: “This is a lot but we’ll get there. I’ll get into a new routine soon.” By focusing differently you’ll often notice yourself feeling differently and the stress will begin to feel more manageable.

Breathe

Sometimes we’re just so stressed and overwhelmed that we can barely even notice our thoughts, much less change them. In these moments it can be helpful to pause and take a few deep breaths. By taking a moment to be in the present moment your body and mind have a chance to calm down. If breathing isn’t your thing, try other soothing strategies until you find what works for you.   

Be kind to yourself

Sometimes change is just going to be stressful, even if you’re doing everything “right.” In these difficult moments it’s important to be kind to yourself and not beat yourself up for struggling. You might find it helpful to think about how you have gotten through difficult changes before or how this is a moment in time and will pass.

Reach out

If the stress is feeling unmanageable, it might help to reach out for help. This could be informally with a friend or family member, or formally through counselling. Often talking through the problems and working towards better understanding them can help lead to solutions.

If you think that you may benefit from counselling, please reach out to book a free 15-minute consultation to discuss whether my services feel like a good fit for you.